The Quantifiable Batman Theorem

I have been pondering heavily this week - often while sipping coffee and staring out at the garden in wistful contemplation - that many of the English language's greatest literary creations would be greatly enhanced by the inclusion of Batman. I can think of no novel, play or poem that he couldn't improve merely by his presence. Observe:

Juliet: Romeo, Romeo, where art thou Romeo? Doth mine eyes deceive me? Is that you, my beloved, standing beneath mine balcony?

Batman: (gravelly voice) No. I'm Batman.

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The Perriwinkle girls were greatly taken in by Mr. Darcy's handsome yet mysterious associate.
"I say, Mr. Darcy," Susan asked "Who is that fellow walking behind you dressed in a full leather body suit - all the rage in London, or so I hear?"
"I'm Batman." growled Mr. Darcy's friend, causing many a woman to flutter her fan with apoplexy.

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"I have called you here, mssrs," Poirot exclaimed as he stroked his luxurious moustache "because the killer is in this very room. It was none other than..."
Suddenly the window flew open with a crash. A mysterious dark-caped stranger leapt into the room, withdrew a batarang and threw it at the butler, Jenkins, knocking him unconscious.
"Mssr Batman!" Poirot exclaimed "Pray tell, how did you know it was the butler? I, the greatest detective mind in all the world, took days to figure it out!"
"Bat Computer." Batman growled "It performs three thousand butler-checks per second AND it plays Tetris when I get bored."


On an unrelated topic, I'm considering growing a luxurious moustache. It sounds dapper.

:-Paul.